Have you ever watched The Shining before? Of course you have! Do you remember the scene where Jack Torrance walks into the ball room and to the bar? High ceilings, golden tiles, decor and design up the wazoo… That’s what Tiger’s Milk Cedar Square is all about… not that it’s built on an Indian burial ground roamed by an axe wielding writer but you know what I mean. Let’s skip the mind of Stephen King for a moment and head to Cedar Square, shall we?
Below the flashy surface lies a classic bar and grill for dudes to kick back, relax, and knock down a couple of brewskies. But don’t let that put you off. Tiger’s Milk has been a go-to place for first dates since its inception in 2014. Before we dive into the usual food review vibes, let’s take a look at where this restaurant came from. It all started on a day the waves were calling all of the surfers in the Fairest Cape to the ocean. Friends hit the beach, caught waves, hit a couple of barrels, and bummed out in the sand after a good session. Like most good ideas, this one was born over a cold beer. One dude said to another, we should totally open up a bar (words spoken by most men at least once in their lives). “What should we call it?” “Tiger’s Milk.” “Will we serve food?” “Of course. And everything needs to have truffel oil in it…”
Well, no that’s not quite the story. The only truth in that was the fact that Tiger’s Milk was started by a bunch of surfers down in Cape Town. Let me know in the comments below if you know what the full story is behind this lekker pub. Speaking of, it’s time we dig deep into the grub on offer at Tiger’s Milk Cedar Square. Let’s hit the road running: The starters menu boasts chicken livers, chicken wings (which comes in BBQ, peri-peri, or buffalo flavours), and the usual suspects we won’t get too much into. But there’s something I’d like to point out for you. Tiger’s Milk serves this thing called a Ferrari Cheese Toastie. Ha! I’ve got you interested now for sure – don’t worry I was too. It’s a beautifully toasted cheese sandwich drenched in truffle aioli, stuffed with mozarella, and rounded off with truffle oil and prosciutto. Let’s just say it was the best toasted cheese I’ve ever had. Everything comes together so well with this toasty. It’s the kind of thing Charlene, Princess of Monaco would eat when no one is looking.
With mains out of the way, it’s time to get our faces covered in sauce. And it’s an unwritten rule that the saucier your face is after eating at a pub, the better the food is. That’s a fact, go look it up on Wikipedia (don’t go look it up, Shawn’s off the meds again). Tiger’s Milk serves steaks that are cooked to your liking, ribs that have been marinated since before I was born (not really), and tacos that taste like Cancún. But we’re not going to get into that. Part of my job as a food writer is to order what I think you would order… and as much as I would love to have feasted on 600g of pork ribs basted in angel tears and molasses (BBQ sauce), I had to settle for a burger with onion rings and shoestring fries – people like to order safe when it comes to places they’ve never been to. I can tell you for a fact that the Moaning @ Midnight burger is worth the possible tripple by-pass that comes with it (actually, Tiger’s Milk serves something called a Tripple Bypass Burger). Anyway, the Moaning @ Midnight consists of a 180g beef patty (with red onion,
tomato, gherkins and lettuce as standard), mature cheddar, bacon, fried egg, baconaise, and bacon jam. Take my word for it, this burger is a boss and a half. There’s something playful about the pickle on this thing. It’s unlike anything I’ve ever tasted. It adds that sweet/sour promise we’ve been sold for years. The bacon jam (which should be put on a substance watch list because it’s so good) does some kind of syncronised dance with the pickle and the pure beef which ends up with you falling in love with the whole creation.
Okay, okay, we’ll I’ll move on already. Tiger’s Milk also serves pizzas baked in their very own clay wood fired oven. This coupled with the fact that they make their own dough from scratch turns the table completely. Without going into detail (like I just did about the burger), Tiger’s Milk can put together ‘zars that will have the pope fly in on a Friday night just to get a couple of boxes for boys’ night. The mains can be washed down with a revolving selection of craft beer on tap – including Tiger’s Milk’s very own craft lager.
By the time I finished the Ferrari Cheese Toasty, buffalo wings, that beautiful burger, and an avo, feta, and bacon pizza, there was no room for dessert. Sorry, gran but you were wrong – there is no extra stomach for pudding after all. The dessert menu does look tantalising though. According to my fellow journalist here at HQ, the baked cheese cake is amazing – take her word for it, she’s into food almost as much as I am (nobody can ever be as into food as I am – I’ve got the belly to prove it). Other than that they serve milk shakes, bread and butter pudding, and chocolate brownies.
In conclusion, let’s end with a quote from Jack Torrance from the Shining: “I just happen to have two 20s and two 10s right here in my wallet. I was afraid they were going to be there until next April.” In other words, Tiger’s Milk is worth your time and your money.
By Shawn Greyling
